Monday, November 24, 2008

BAD TUNA


As I was preparing my much anticipated lunch, I popped open a can of tuna. I mixed in my non-fat mayo, pickle relish, and a sprinkle of dill. I spread my heavenly tuna concoction on my golden toasted de"light"ful slices of bread. I very happily (and hungrily) took a bite. Then, very hastily ran to the kitchen sink to gag and sputter and spit out every ounce of tuna. Thankfully, the taste was so bad I did not manage to swallow any of it, or else I'd have food poisoning and the ralphs for sure. The can looked unassuming, and no killer vapors knocked me over while making the sandwich. I checked the mayo, too. The mayo was innocent. It was the tuna. So, here's my question to all of you tuna connoisseurs out there..... what is the shelf-life on a can of tuna? Because I have a jumbo pack of tuna from Sam's Club sitting in my pantry that's about a year old. All of it is going in the trash, just as a precaution. Will I ever enjoy tuna again? Or has this experience ruined tuna forever?
Sobbing to myself, I looked at the evil tuna can and cried...
Curse you, BAD TUNA!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Twilight- The movie review

With not so terribly high expectations, I went and saw the midnight showing of Twilight with my sisters and a few of their friends. Always up for a much needed GNO, I gladly sacrificed precious sleep and came along for the ride. I love hanging with the girls! But, this is a movie review, so here goes nothing....

I don't normally critique movies, or ever even blog about them, but this one deserves some feedback! I am assuming that you haven't been living under a rock these past 3 years, and have actually read the book. If you have not, don't bother to step foot in the theater. The filmmakers assume you have read the book, too. Trust me on this one...if you don't know ANYTHING about Twilight, you will hate this movie and quite possibly strangle anyone who told you to go see it. Read the books, if that interests you.

The Cinematography: Spot-on. Forks depicted in the movie was the same as Forks described in the book. The overcast, almost blue-gray film effect was perfect for capturing the mood and tone. The scenery was beautiful. And haunting, too. This aspect of the film was true to the book.

The Script: If speaking with your eyes was dialog, then this movie was downright verbose. If you can't read peoples' thoughts like Edward, then the dialog was uninspired and scant to say the least. Some of my favorite book characters (Alice and Jasper, Esme) had maybe three lines the entire movie...even the lead characters had skimpy lines. For example, you don't get much of the playful banter between Bella and Ed like you do in the book. Sure they hint at a couple of funny lines, but there wasn't any follow through. If Ed and Bella began talking for more than a minute, the music would drown them out and we would have to be forced to read lips. Good chemistry, but terrible dialog! So sad, really.

The Music:
Rocked! I am going out to buy the Soundtrack. Muse and Paramore are my new favorite bands. I have been looking for new music that doesn't sound like everything else out there, and I found it in this movie. I loved it.

Special Effects:
There were none. And they weren't special. Amazingly bad, in fact.
I wish they would have spent a little more time and money on getting the vampires' abilities to look cool instead of looking like a guy hanging from wires as he runs in mid-air as fast as he can. I have seen stage plays with better effects. Sigh.

My thoughts on the cast:
I thought Kristin Stewart as Bella was believable for the most part.... exc
ept the fact that you RARELY saw her smile the entire movie, and she was a little too sullen and moody compared to the book. I don't think they needed to play up the "Plain Jane" aspect so much, either. No makeup would have been better than the gray-eyeshadow-with-no-mascara look. Really weird. Her contact-lensed eyes were so dark they were almost creepy. No awards in the make-up department for ANY of the characters for that matter. I thought the contact lenses and pale make-up on the vamps could have been done in a tasteful way. Instead it looked like they were going trick-or-treating in some scenes. (Poor Jasper looked like a bug-eyed, baby-powdered mannequin the entire movie. Not to mention, a mute.)

The character who stole the show in my opinion was Bella's dad, Charlie. He was very natural and had the wittiest of the few humorous lines. I won't go into James, Victoria, or Laurent. I will only say cheese, cheese, and more cheese. On to the leading men...

From the time they announced Robert Pattinson as "Edward" I had a sinking feeling. Quite frankly, he's just not that good looking. For everyone who has read the books, they know Edward is breathtakingly, flawlessly beautiful. Poor Rob almost seemed awkward and nerdy at times. (Like when he walks, talks, or smiles.) Edward's character is supposed to be articulate, wise, and polished, not an insecure, stammering kid. Maybe it's just Rob's hockey nose or British teeth or his giant orange-on-a-toothpick head that turned me off. In the book, Ed's physique is carved out of marble, on par with a Greek-god. Seriously??? Sorry Rob, you are no Michelangelo's David.

Rob Pattinson

If I were in charge, I would have cast this guy as Edward. He's breathtakingly beautiful (in my opinion), has pale skin, a strong jawline, thin cut muscular body, eyes that totally suck you in, and he can act. Lost fans may recognize him. When I was reading the book series, this guy's face always jumped into my head as "Edward".

Ian Somerhalder

Now
that's Edward's body.
(and he naturally looks a little vampy.)

The actor who played Jacob in the movie (
Taylor Lautner) was way cute, but young. You may remember him from Shark Boy and Lava Girl. Then again, you may not. I thought his character was underutilized...but maybe I am just a teeeensy bit partial to Jacob. In the next book/movie, "New Moon" he needs to have grown about 2 feet and put on 50 pounds of pure sinewy muscle...hit the weights, kid. You definitely have potential.

Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black.

The Jacob in my head was always this guy.
Who I think, looks like an older brother to the current Jacob.


His name is Steve Strait. So adorable, and smokin' hot in the body department. He's worth watching Sky High or even 10,000 BC for. Ahem...moving on.

Bottom line, if you were hoping for greatness,
you won't find it here. This film had a very low budget and it shows. I am somewhat baffled as to why such a best-selling book series would be so low budget on the screen.
If I were you I'd wait for Twilight to
come out on DVD unless you are a die-hard fan
and can't wait to be disappointed.
And that ends my soapbox career as a film critic.
I will let the professionals do it from now on.

P.S. Girl's night out was the highlight of my week. Please don't think me ungrateful!
I will gladly go again just for the chance to talk and be girly for a little while...no matter what is playing on the big screen. A big THANK YOU goes out to Lydia for waiting in line for hours to get us good tickets. You are so sweet for doing that for us.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Smell of Snow

Snow has a smell. It's true. In fact, it's one of my most vivid memories as a child. Every time I smell that crisp, cold air I think of Christmas, and crunching through a snow drift in bread-bagged moon boots (my generation will understand), and catching perfectly-formed flakes on my tongue. There is nothing like it...and I appreciate it's beauty as well as it's nostalgic smell. Hot Cocoa anyone?

A few days back, we had the brightest full moon I have ever seen.
The morning after, it still looked beautiful
hanging sleepily above the powdery mountains.
Can you smell the snow? Me too. Can't wait to ski on those hills!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Halloween Goodies

Yes I know it's mid-November.
But here are some Halloween pics for your enjoyment anyway. Sean always goes all out on Halloween, which is totally contagious. What I start out dreading, becomes so much fun in the end that I wonder why I was dreading it in the first place. The make-up turned out great, and the house was extra spooky! Come by next year and see the whole set-up if you didn't get a chance this year. Booooooo!

In case you are wondering what we are: Jenny is a tacky fortune-teller, Sean is "Beetlejuice", Gavin is a scary skeleton, Connor is a "Men in Black" agent, and Brennan is "Dash" from the Incredibles. Whew! Glad I cleared that up for all of you. :)

Mindy stopped by with her darling kids for some candy and mayhem.

We did a really spooky theme that had every three year old
in the neighborhood wetting their pants.
(We didn't have very many trick-or-treaters, come to think of it.)
It totally rocks in person, but if your dying to see what it
looked like, go here...but please come back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2TDqzXP9FU

Diggin' up bones in the graveyard.....

Connor's pumpkin turned out awesome.

Bring on Christmas! Just kidding.